Trying to find out who you are in Christ by what you see is like trying to measure the temperature with a ruler. You need a different instrument to see spiritual things. His name is the Holy Spirit. You need to listen to Him. He’ll tell you who you are and what you have in Christ. He’ll tell you the things your eyes are not able to.
1 Corinthians 2:14 (NKJV) But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.