The Cure For Envy And Disappointment (Article)

As a believer, if you find yourself envious of what someone else has or what someone else can do or if you find that you’re disappointed in yourself because you’re comparing yourself to somebody else, here are two biblical principles that will remedy that with some time and meditation. 

1) Stop trying to be self-confident (which is the purpose of the Law)

Philippians 3:3 (KJV)  …rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

You may not think so, but your disappointment in yourself comes from trying to be self-confident. Disappointment only comes when you’re trying to be something of yourself. It could not exist if you realized that you are nothing apart from Jesus. You can’t be disappointed if you have no expectations for yourself at all. Then there’s nothing to fall short of. 

Disappointment in yourself ONLY comes because you’re trying to be self-confident and failing. Your attempts at self-confidence are the source of your disappointment! 

The Bible teaches very clearly that we have nothing at all of ourselves, and we can do nothing good of ourselves (Gal. 5:19). As far as our fleshly ability is concerned, we can accomplish literally nothing (John 15:5)!

When most people feel inferior, they try to boost their self-confidence, thinking “Well, I can do that too” or “I’m not so bad” or “What I have is better than theirs.” All of this is trying to boost your self-confidence. All the while, it’s your attempt at self-confidence that is causing your disappointment!

The source of all disappointment, jealousy, and comparison is your striving to be self-confident. 

But just because you have no reason for fleshly self-confidence does not mean that you have no reason for confidence at all. Start looking for your confidence elsewhere!

2) Take some pride in the work of Jesus (which is the purpose of the Gospel)

Instead of trying to be proud of something you do and constantly failing yourself, you need to throw all your confidence over on what Jesus has done IN you. Notice that I didn’t say, “What Jesus has done FOR you.“ I said you need to throw your confidence on what Jesus has done IN you. Because all the work that Jesus did at the cross was to take your old nature upon Himself and recreate you like Himself (2 Pet. 1:4)! 

Jesus has put HIS omnipotence in you, HIS personality in you, HIS perfect nature in you. And HE put all these things in you because HE did a good work at the cross! Now that’s a work to be proud of! Everything about you now is good, perfect, and pleasing to God (Rom. 12:2)!  

Notice all the “HE’s“ and “HIS’s“ in the previous paragraph? That’s where ALL of our confidence needs to be. That’s a confidence that can’t be broken. All our confidence needs to be placed in the good things HE has accomplished in us! 

Philippians 3:3 (KJV)  …rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

So, by no means am I saying that you don’t have reason for confidence. All the contrary. You now have a better and more sure confidence than self-confidence. You can (and need to) take your pride and confidence in what Jesus has worked inside of you.

Philemon 1:6 (KJV)  …the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.

Here is the sum of it: There’s no place for disappointment, or comparing your work with another’s, when you’re not relying on your work anymore. You’re relying on HIS.

One More Thought

Let me leave you with this last point: What could you possibly want in somebody else anyway? You already have what Jesus has. That is utter confusion — to desire something you see in somebody else, all the while, having everything you see in the risen Jesus.

I present you with this choice: Would you rather have what you see in that other person? Or would you rather have what you see in the risen Jesus? I’m sure if you wanted to trade, you could work something out with God, but nobody in their right mind has ever asked Him that because what Jesus has makes everything else look shameful. 

So, lose the self-confidence and rejoice in the work that Jesus has done in you! It’s a beautiful sight to see.